One of the most fundamental human needs is the need to belong. Noted psychologist, Abraham Maslow, identified it as one of the five basic needs. We want to be part of a group and to feel loved and accepted by others. That is, we want to be a member of a tribe. A tribe-or a pack, clan, elected family, posse, crew, network, or true friends–is a group of people who share common interests and values and show genuine appreciation and care for each other.
Your tribe members are those people who accept you just as you are, and who want the very best for you. They make you feel understood, and they encourage you to go after your goals and pursue your dreams. Also, the members of your tribe help you to get through difficult times, and they provide you with a sense of community and support.
To paraphrase Sam Adams–from the Onion A.V. Club–, your tribe are those people you love to cruise the streets with while listening to the Ramones and playing air guitar, and who, at the same time, will come and slap you when you’re acting out of line. Your tribe is made up of ‘your people.’ Think of the six main characters in the hit series “Friends,” and how they were always there for each other.
Sir Ken Robinson–author of “The Element,” a book on how to find work that you’re passionate about–argues that your tribe is essential in helping you to find your element. Members of a tribe kick ideas around with each other and validate each other. Also, tribe members drive each other to explore the real extent of their talents. In addition, Robinson argues that when a group of people with common interests come together, a synergy is created which allows them to create something much greater than any of them could have created individually.
If you feel tribe-less, rest assured in the knowledge that your tribe is out there. In addition, if you’re already surrounded by a supportive tribe, remember that there are probably many members of your tribe that you have not met yet. Below you’ll find twelve valuable tips and insights to help you find your tribe-if you haven’t found it already–, or to help you expand your tribe-if you already have one.
Twelve Tips for Finding or Expanding Your Tribe
American journalist and writer Jane Howard is credited with the following quote: “Call it a clan, call it a network, call it a tribe, call it a family. Whatever you call it, whoever you are, you need one.” Here are twelve tips for finding or expanding your tribe:
Think of the qualities you want your tribe members to have. As an illustration, you may want each of your tribe members to have the following qualities: treats people with respect; listens but doesn’t judge; has a quirky sense of humor; is an artist; lives with passion; doesn’t sweat the small stuff; is loyal and trustworthy.
Decide if there’s a particular type of activity that you want to engage in with your tribe, such as starting a book club, taking hiking trips, going to happy hour, or visiting museums and gallery openings.
Listen to your inner voice and trust your instincts. When was the last time you had a gut feeling about someone? Sometimes you’ll meet someone new and you’ll feel drawn to them right away, almost as if you were old friends. Other times you’ll come across people who immediately make you want to put up your guard. Pay attention to your gut reaction to others.
One way to find your tribe is to use Social Media to create a virtual tribe; you can then look for ways to meet in the offline world. For example, Twitter allows you to search for people who share your interests and who actively talk about these interests. Use the topics and activities that you’re interested in as key terms. You can also enter the city where you live as a key term in order to find others who share your interests and live in your area.
Start a blog on a subject that interests you–such as breeding bull terriers, chasing UFOs, Russian 19th century novelists, and so on–and create your own community. If you can get together a group of bloggers who are like -minded and live in the same city, you can host a blog meet-up so you can all meet in person.
Look for upcoming community events in your city that are centered around activities you enjoy.
Search for Yahoo groups and forums which cater to a particular topic that you’re passionate about.
If there are one or two people you already know who you would like to strengthen your friendship with, try to find a way to work together. You could plant a communal garden together, or meet once a week to complete unfinished projects–such as crafts, sewing, knitting, or woodworking– as a group. Working with others can help you strengthen your bonds with them.
Marketing guru Seth Godin advices that you create your tribe by helping others to achieve their goals. Connect people in your social network who have common interests; give them access to information and resources that they need; and let them know that you’re available if they need help.
Andy Paige–a stylist on TLC– explains that you need to look for your 1/3. To summarize: Andy argues that 1/3 of the people you come across will dislike you; 1/3 of the people you meet will be indifferent toward you; and 1/3 of the people you come into contact with will love you. You’re looking for that that last 1/3. Those are your people. Don’t worry about the other 2/3.
Create rituals that you can share with your tribe, such as having regular meals together. You can also have in-jokes and slang or jargon that’s unique to your tribe. Look for ways to make your group cohere and know that it’s a group.
Keep in mind that the people you hang out with will have a huge impact on every aspect of your life, from your level of income—several financial authors argue that your income is equal to the income of your five best friends–, to your level of happiness—studies show that happiness is contagious. In addition, we have a subconscious tendency to model the behavior of those around us. Choose your tribe wisely.
When we let go of our ideas of the world around us, we begin to see what is really there. When we open ourselves up to what is real, we begin to live the life we are really living. Just by setting aside our agendas, expectations, control, and the process we normally live by, we escape the rudimentary existence we have been living in. Life is not only how we see it or believe it to be. Opening up yourself to simply be with what is, without your ideas controlling how you see life, is a remarkable experience, for often we are choosing how to see life. We take in only what we want to see and nothing more. Izabella
1. Contemporary Consciousness – The mass consciousness of production, consumption, submission and nihilism is where the shift begins. This is the consensus trance that we have been programmed to accept as real life, while obediently serving our worst interests without examination or question. Contemporary consciousness is acquiescence to insanity for the sake of convenience. Breaking through contemporary consciousness is to strike the very root of our global dilemma. Numb, drugged, and senseless, this level of consciousness is a psychic plague blotting out our potential.
2. A Disturbance in the Force – Like a canary in a coal mine, a warning appears from somewhere, grabbing our attention, rattling our confidence, pulling us out of our tunnel vision. Some small piece of information gathered from the alternative press or from a documentary film eats at our understanding of how the world is set up, and the shift begins. This sets the stage for a deep and serious personal crises to erupt, and often engages a ferocious drive for knowledge and truth.
3. An Introspective Quest for Knowledge & Truth – Knowledge and information are the fuel for personal transformation. Once awakened, our natural draw towards truth and justice calls us to consider new ideas and outside perspectives as we search for a new bearing in a crumbling understanding of the world. Introspection reveals answers to never-before asked questions and the accompanying interest in ‘alternative’ information and ideas provides answers that profoundly contradict contemporary consciousness. Once this quest is initiated the world never again looks the same.
4. The Dark Night of the Soul – The disturbance begins to conflict with contemporary consciousness so severely that the amount of cognitive dissonance required to adhere to the status quo life manifests materially as serious personal mental and physical health crises. The foundation for this catastrophic and catalyzing series of events has been under construction for most of life up to this point, and as such, the mind, body and spirit can be forced to endure unimaginable lows as the entire sum and meaning of one’s existence is smashed and broken to pieces under the weight of one’s denial about their complicity in their own self-destruction.
This is the ultimate test. To pass it one must endure the pain to the ultimate degree, and simply not give up. For many, the dark night of the soul lasts for years, marking the most serious, frightening and life-changing phase of life. Succumbing to the suffering here means giving in to total annihilation and choosing the path of serious self-deceit, total submission to ego and to false authority, addiction, reckless endangerment of the self, suicide, overdose, etc.
5. Discovery of Real Medicine – Something helps us through this crisis by easing the pain of our suffering, gently re-building positive energy and providing sufficient distraction while the body and spirit begin to reclaim health. Medicine here is not pharmaceutical, but therapeutical, and can come in the form of an artistic endeavor or exercise, or better yet, an intense study of an esoteric healing physical art like Qi Gong, Yoga, Kung Fu, meditation, and so on. Medicine may also be found amongst healers, therapists, shaman, or even plant medicines like Ayahuasca and Iboga. Finding the activity or experience that nudges you away from the brink of destruction and towards healing is a critical component of the shift.
6. Purification and Detox – Along the quest for knowledge we discover the toxic nature of our processed and sedentary lifestyle and realize the need for detox and purification. Learning about fluoride, heavy metals, GMO’s and the poisons in our food reveals the link between our emotional state, stress levels, well-being and conscious awareness. A new relationship with food is developed and taking care of the body and health gradually becomes easier.
Our toxic environment also includes our social atmosphere and here we are compelled to tune out of mainstream media, conversation and logic, purging ourselves of the garbage that so many people consider important. Our consumption of mainline ideas is reduced and our mind regains a footing of independence in a sea of sensationalized conformity.
7. Re-thinking of Authority, Dependence and Liberty – As the detox pushes older versions of the self out of the way, rejuvenating the psyche, a new picture of the self emerges in a world that no longer looks anything like it did before. The designs of control and manipulation governing our social institutions and traditions are rightfully exposed as farcical constructs that deter our evolution, while modern politics and government are understood to be laughable traps of dependence and deceit and therefore no longer beneficial to positive growth. The people that invest their lives and identities in these schemes seem desperate and needy of purpose, fanatical and outrageously too certain and too serious about life.
Non-conformity and non-compliance become moral obligations and liberty is revalued to include freedom from living in the fear-based consciousness offered as the default way of life. Ordinary people seem strange now in how they self-organize into ridiculous pecking orders, squabbling for position at work and submitting to any ‘authority figure’ with a badge and cheap uniform. It becomes clear that freedom has less to do with laws and more to do with voluntary submission, and liberty becomes a constant struggle to decrease dependence on the systems that complicate life.
8. Letting Go of and Discarding that Which Does Not Serve – In order to move through the process of transformation, it is absolutely necessary to jettison the things, people, relationships, habits, and ideas which no longer serve and support us. Human beings energetically interact with the objects and people in our environment, and eliminating and purging sources of stagnant energy and negativity creates space for new experience and inspiration to enter and flow into life. This is one of the most renewing components in this transformation.
9. Initiation into Mystery – Material science and mainstream thought exclude forms of mystery and paranormal activity from consideration in our culture, therefore making an initiation into the world of the unexplainable a common feature of the shift. For some reason, as a person changes in this fashion, strange and fascinating events occur that chip away at the certainties that support consensus material reality. Synchronicities emerge and moments of clarity give greater meaning to the mundane. Awareness of the subtle life force energy, Qi or Prana, develops, and ancient modalities of thought and concentration elicit strangely powerful revelations. Once the veil of the rigid scientific mindset is pierced, intuition and curiosity flourish and one re-assesses the potential in all things and in all circumstances, abandoning certainty in favor of wonder. Life becomes at sacred, as it should be.
The shift is nothing short of total personal revolution, and signals the re-organization of the mind and psyche for the benefit of the individual and the collective. It is about remembering who we are and overcoming the momentous inertia of the self-destructive programming in our modern world.Coming to extra-ordinary consciousness and awareness from the depths of the contemporary trance that sickens so many people is a process compelled by both natural forces and personal will and is part of our unique journey towards individuation, freedom, and happiness in this amazing world, at this incredible time.
If you have anything of value to add to this list, please do so in the comments section below.
IT IS POWERFUL, PERFECT, CEASELESS, CHANGELESS..
AND IT IS WITHIN US.
WE HAVE EVERY REASON TO BELIEVE THAT WE CAN BE HEALED; WE HAVE EVERY REASON TO HAVE FAITH;
WE HAVE EVERY REASON TO REFUSE TO BELIEVE
THAT ANY CONDITION IS BEYOND HELP OR HEALING.